I’m writing a blog so why am I apprehensive, I speak week in and week out in Slimming World. This time it is different though…..
I have been nominated for Woman of the year in my class along with three other lovely ladies. Don’t get me wrong I am so overwhelmed to be just nominated for such a special award in something that has became a huge part of my life. Since being told last night that I had been nominated and that I have to stand up and talk about Slimming World and what it is to me and what it has done for me – it’s got me thinking. Now words aren’t what I am struggling with here, I know the answers to all of these; it’s the vulnerability.
Anyone who has had to go through a weight loss journey will have their own reason why but the struggles are the same. I guess this is the amazing benefit I feel staying behind in my class for the chat. The recipe ideas, the laughter, the fear, the disappointment and the celebrations is all an emotional roller coaster and having just even one person to share this with is to me a blessing.
With such a massive amount of weight to lose it can be so daunting for me because it’s going to be a long journey but I knew this more than ever on the 7th January when I stood on the scales. If I’m honest it is scary at times to think of how much weight I still need to lose and it’s so difficult at times staying on track to try and get those results week after week. What keeps me going though is that my fear of not becoming a mum is far greater than my fear of not succeeding in losing my weight.
If my medical conditions are to be the reason that I don’t create my own family naturally I’m not going to lie it will break my heart. What I can’t do though is let them be my excuse because I refuse to get to the point in my life where we don’t have a family, that I haven’t given my husband children and its all been down to my eating habits.
There is always light at the end of the tunnel as they say and with Slimming World this time I feel like my hope to be a mum is within my reach. I have an appointment in just under two weeks with the hospital and from my last appointment 31st December 2015 she asked me to lose 2 stone 6lb (10% of my body weight at the time). Now I admit I had hoped to have lost around 7 stone by this appointment but this isn’t going to happen – I’m currently sitting at a loss of 5 stone 4lbs but with the love and support from my family and my slimming world group I am feeling more optimistic than what I do dealing with my own demons and disappointments.
Before I started my weight loss journey I suffered anxiety, I had lost my self confidence and I don’t know how but I lost who I was somewhere along the line. It wasn’t because of the people in my life, I’m lucky to have had and to still have some of the greatest people I have ever met in my life. People that have never stopped believing in me even though I did, people who regardless of my size loved being with me and making memories with me and people like my husband who has told me I am beautiful nearly everyday for as long as I can remember.
So I guess that’s it; Slimming World has given me and continues to give me – HOPE, FAITH, STRENGTH, LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL, A COMMUNITY, FRIENDSHIPS, CONFIDENCE and most of all I’VE FOUND MYSELF AGAIN.